It’s always interesting spending time out in nature with the wife, camping and fishing, and what not. Especially since HJ isn’t what one would call an outdoors person. There are a few reasons for that a couple being the heat and of course bugs. Funny thing about both of those, is that they are indeed a part of being in the great outdoors. Her biggest issue is bugs. If she even suspects a bug in anywhere near her she panics because well it may be plotting her demise. It is an interesting and amusing scene. Take for example spiders. Now I will be the first to admit that spiders aren’t my favorite critter, in fact if I had to be completely honest, I’d have to say they scare me. But I do understand their place in the world, and while I don’t go out of my way to my to welcome them into my space, I don’t go looking for their demise either. Now we are sitting at a picnic table and I see this tiny little critter crawling on the table, and I say calmly and quietly, “Case, get that before she sees it,”. It’s a calmly stated request, and one which I figure she wouldn’t even be paying attention to since she is reading, and normally she wouldn’t have. But oh no…not this time, this time she is all “What…what do you see?”
Case has seen the special reaction HJ has to creepy crawlies, and replies, “It’s nothing to worry about and no where near you.” Right…HJ is imediately in panic mode, since said creepy crawly is surely going to kill her, starts saying, “Kill it KILL IT…get it away from me.” Let’s keep in mind that said creepy is at least a foot away from her and she is in no danger of impending death. My question is this…why is a spider that is a foot away more dangerous than a spider that is crawling above her on a wall? Answer..it’s not. But this is the reaction I get when when I calmly say, “Honey, I want you to move for a minute.” I get twenty questions, all starting with WHY..” A gazillion why’s. Now I know that no matter what I say where a spider is concerned I’m going to have to deal with her reaction of, “It’s going to kill me, and you need to kill it.” either way its always with increasing panic in her voice. Clearly I know my role in this relationship, it’s to kill spiders. I know this, and I accept it. Gladly I have yet to come to home to find multiple glasses on the floor containing trapped spiders. (I’ve only had to deal with that once,)
However it was a pleasent weekend, we camped, I lost countless hooks to the evil lake that refused to give up its bountly (well okay I did catch one lonely little fish. In my defense it had been taunting and teasing me all morning long.) still the hooks were forever lost. I feel like I should mourn them. We feasted on hamburgers, hotdogs, watermelon, along with countless other goodies and what I can only discribe as a cute as a button little two and a half little girl.
Sophie, or SoSo as she informed us we should call her, loves hotdogs and watermelon, and took a liking to HJ. So much so that she allowed HJ to help her with getting her dinner and letting HJ pet her puppy dog. Puppy dog, didn’t really have a name other that Pet, and appearently didn’t mind being led around by his ear. He loves cake, and let HJ pet him. Me on the other hand, wasn’t allowed to pet Pet or feed him cake. Now first off I am extremely upset since HJ doesn’t even like dogs…okay so what if she handles stuffed ones better than the real kind…the fact is she does not like D O G S. I however do, and yet Pet wouldn’t let me feed him cake…there is no justice in the world. Again I have only one question…why. Alas it was decreed by SoSo that this stuffed dog would bite me, therefore no feeding him or petting him, lord forgive you wake him. HJ happened to make that mistake, and all I could tell her was this…there is only one rule with toddlers and puppies. DON’T WAKE THEM! SoSo’s look should have been enough to convey that message to HJ.
A couple of other things I learned this weekend were this, SoSo likes robots, is a robot who likes hotdogs and watermelon. I know I’m just as shocked as you are at that bit of information..Oh and in case you have ever wondered what those buildings are around parks and lakes that have the little plaques with a man and a woman are…there restrooms where get this…people poop!
Oh the things you learn from children…until next time folks! Beware of stuffed puppies that may bite and evil spiders that out to kill you!!