Things I learn from a Five year old, (A day in the life of a writer)

Life is a series of. We learn them from all avenues, walks of life and the various experiences we have along the way. If we listen and watch we are bound to learn something valuable.

I am fortunate to have the opportunity to live my life with a wonderful and amazingly imaginative granddaughter who is five years old. With that being said, I have managed to learn some life lessons, and odd facts in the last few months.

Now in order to understand some of these lessons you all need to know that 1) she is a big fan of THE WALKING DEAD, apparently zombies is the bomb…2) even though I personally do not like AMERICAN DAD, she and her father do, and while I try to keep that in check sometimes she sneaks a few episodes in. 3) She can be quite imaginative and some of the things that come out of her mouth just… well just keep reading.

A few weeks ago, HJ and I are sitting out on our patio with said five year old who is running around being quite active and just plain tiring us out when she pops off with a few wisdoms. Such as: she (not unlike many five year old,) loves to walk upside down and on all fours…think spider walking on its back. Its creepy in my opinion but oh well…anyway she is doing this and having fun playing when all of a sudden she jumps up and proclaims she is a zombie. She starts doing the zombie walk , dragging a leg behind her as she chases the poor puppy dog. (Puppy dog adores the child and frankly is thrilled that child plays with her,) So picture this zombie chasing puppy dog which suddenly stops and begins to chase the terrifying zombie. As sudden as it began, the zombie proclaims loudly, zombie_girl_k-u-the-walking-dead-season-5-episode-6-will-feature-a-child-walker-png-174567“I’M HUMAN again and the doggie is gonna get me! UGH…” Commences the laughter from both HJ and I.

We finally get that under control when the child is now on her swing, moving her little legs and swinging higher and higher…now as it often happens, a little gas is passed by her…(only child surrounded by a father and three Uncles who are … well… boys and who think bodily functions like that are hilarious, therefore so does she…) she starts to laugh and loudly proclaims, “Farting makes me go higher!” I bet you didn’t know that? Why would I bet that…well because I didn’t know that! (But then again neither did HJ, and well she is intelligent woman so I don’t feel so bad with that one.)

Do ya’ll happen to know what the CIA does? I’ve been wrong about their job responsibilities for years. Tonight I found out that they are responsible for taking people and aliens away. Here is the only reason I found this out. A few days ago I purchased a new IPOD, and HJ and I decided that the five year old would like the old one. She loves music and technology and well it keeps her hands off of my new one. Along with the IPOD came a leather case that clips on to a belt or the waistband of jeans or shorts. This evening she is walking around outside with the puppy dog just enjoying the music and the evening sun. I’ve joined her on the deck and am watching the birds and the child and just enjoying my evening when she proclaims as she is flipping the case opened, “I’M the CIA and I’m here to take Enna away.”

“Um okay…do you know what the CIA does?”

“YES…the take people…”

“Wait, they take people? Where do they take them?”

“Yeah they take people and aliens away.”

“I see…and you’re the CIA?”

“Yup,”

“Where do you take the people and aliens?”

“Away, and if they’re bad the CIA kills them.”

“Wow…and how do you know this?”

“Come on I’ll show you.” So I follow the child into the house and into her dad’s room where she tells dad, “Put on the movies you watch and show grandma¬†what the CIA does.” Needless to say I think my son was a little worried about what movies she demanded he show grandma, and yeah trust me when I say I was a little afraid too.

I needn’t be, because low and behold it was only AMERICAN DAD that she was talking about. But still, I was informed this evening that that’s what the CIA is up to. Now I know what happened to all those who have claimed to be abducted by aliens! It was in fact only the CIA and they have the recollections of aliens because well the aliens were abducted as well, fortunately they survived because they obviously weren’t bad people.

I’m happy to say the rest of my family and friends are safe as they are neither bad nor aliens…and well the puppy dog just barely¬†made it by the skin of her teeth, and the demon cat and Pouncer well they are safe because they are cats and surely above humans so their safety is secure.

I look forward to more life lessons and wisdoms from the five year old! Keep in touch and I’ll be sure to pass on whatever information I gather… until then, be safe, be good and watch out for the CIA

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