Last night I was busy running around doing the whole shopping for groceries thing (let me tell you, I’d forgotten what an experience that is with a five year old,) so I missed a text message that would have had me bursting into tears right there in the middle of the cereal isle. No, I don’t just burst into tears, although in thinking about it, I have posted a bit about me doing just that…hm, maybe I should start blogging about all the truly butch stuff I do so I don’t sound so much like a crybaby. Anyway back to my story. The text was from someone incredibly dear to me, whose opinion means a lot and who I have immense respect for. In short the text said that this person had finally gotten to read one of my blog posts and really enjoyed it so read more…again enjoyed them and proceeded to tell me that I have talent. (YES it brought a tear to my eye,)
What I think got me is this, it was just last week that I got my mom to read some of my writing. (It’s hard for mom to follow my work when it’s all online and they don’t have a computer, and I’m usually to dense to think about printing anything out for her to be able to read…you get the picture. Any way last week I was at mom’s and I was checking the stats on my blog and I thought….I know here I go again with that thinking bit, it’s dangerous! “Hey mom wanna read some of what I write?” Mom being mom looking as though I’m going to force her to go by a computer and actually make her learn new technology says, “Uh…I guess…” “Well gee mom don’t let me make you feel as though I’m forcing ya, 😉 ” We laugh and I hand her my phone and she starts to read. Keep in mind I don’t like sharing my thoughts…I know total contradiction since I’m a writer right… so I’m on pins and needles, and really of times for this to happen it had to happen right then and there….a customer pulls in and rings the bell. (mom and dad run a produce stand where they are still selling onions and potatoes…) So mom says, “I’ll be right back but…can you print that out for me? It’s really good,” Now it’s my turn to look like the deer caught in the head lights…”Uh yeah…I can print it out…” Wait did she just say it’s really good? Does that mean she liked it? Well of course it did you idiot, why else would she want you to print it out?? God sometimes you can be so slow… Hey that was a low shot! Shut up MOM LIKED WHAT YOU WROTE!!!
NOW, I have two very important people in my life telling me I have talent…well one told me that the other said it just not in those words… and that’s not to say that the rest of the important people in my life haven’t told me I mean HJ tells me all the time…it’s just that it’s MOM and It’s Froggie!!! (NOT her real name, because well names have been changed to protect the innocent…)
You’re thinking, okay if this Froggie person is so important then why did it take so for her/him to read your blog? Well because she is a mother of two and when she has a few moments to simply relax the last thing she wants to do is sit and read something that “might” be ok…she wants to soak in a hot bath with tons of bubbles and just have alone time, and not have to figure out how to tell me, “yeah I read your stuff and um…you suck, you shouldn’t have quit your day job,” I mean it’s a lot of pressure reading stuff from someone you know…what if they really do suck, you don’t want to hurt their feelings, (although a good critique is helpful,) And honestly when I have time to myself the last thing I want to do is read something by someone who ‘thinks’ they’re a writer…friend or not. I want to read JOHN SANFORD, KAY HOOPER, I wanna read some LYNN AMES, LORI L LAKE, KG MACGREGOR, you know, authors who have some work to back them up!
Okay yeah I have a couple of books to back me up but,I mean some serious book numbers not four…lol. BUT the upside in all of this is people think I have talent so those numbers WILL grow and I’ll have back up eventually! YAY
PS Don’t take the comment about being butch and doing butch things to prove I’m not a crybaby seriously. Butch, femme, male, female, we all have feelings and it doesn’t matter how we express them. I’m tired of the society that says boys can’t cry and you have to man up…really get over, we have to let our emotions out and if crying helps then so be it…maybe if we taught boys it was okay to feel we wouldn’t have young men shooting up schools because they can’t handle their feelings. JUST MY OPINION