I just saw something that got me to thinking…ponder this if you will… FEAR.
We all have fears, it’s human nature right…the fear of losing someone we love, of failing, (a class, or assignment) spiders, snakes (snakes ewww evil vile things. I loath them, because the scare the shit out of me.) But today-well for the last few days- I think what’s holding me back is the fear that I don’t know what I’m doing.
See, while I’ve always liked to write, I fell into writing as a profession. I never thought of being published, never really pursued that avenue. I don’t have any formal training as a writer, didn’t major in journalism, hell I had one year of college and let’s just say I didn’t do much with that year. To say that I paid any attention to English class and the formation of a complete sentence in high school would be half truth.
I hate outlines, have no clue at story structure or anything else I’m reading about that I should know… in short I feel like I’m faking it.
I haven’t got a clue as to what I’m doing, and honestly it scares me. I get up in the morning with all these voices, (no I’m not crazy…it’s just the characters wanting to talk,) with the intent of writing…which I love, which I do for ME. And I write and I read what I’ve put down and then that part of me that is afraid says “What are you doing, you have no clue, Is that REALLY any good, are you sure you want people to read that” Does a ‘real’ writer deal with that voice? Do they go through that doubt?
What I do have and I think is the most important part is I have people who believe in me, I have a publisher that has faith in me. Oh and I do have a couple of fans that like what I write so I suppose that is an important part of the equation as well.
Writers out there, please tell me how you deal with that fear…do you even HAVE that fear or is it just me??