A good nights sleep…(every day life of a writer or so it seems)

It’s amazing the perspective one gets from having a good nights sleep. I almost had that…

If you’ve read any of my posts during the last couple of weeks, you all know that my wife and better half was out of town during that time; now when she is gone I don’t sleep as well. I know you’re asking why not … I have the bed to myself, no one to steal blankets or pillows, no alarm going off at the crack of dawn, I can have the fan off and the windows closed…it should be heaven right? Yes it should be but I’m missing something…the warm body next to me, (and the fuzzy kitten doesn’t count,) the soft rhythmic breathing beside me, (again the snoring from a kitty doesn’t count…) 

After what felt like months, my wife is back, and finally all is right in my world. Bed time arrives and I happily go about locking up the house, setting the alarm system…(which I will tell anyone will scare the hell out of you when you forget to disarm it. It’s bad…just bad…) turning out the lights. The nightly routine is done, and finally I climb into bed and am able to snuggle, once again her pillows are being used by…HER!! YAY. I can feel her, I can see her and most importantly I can warm my cold feet on her warm ones, and she can start  reading to me…because that’s a part of our routine her reading the evening news. (It’s a wonder that I know what’s happening in the world when she is away, really it is.) The light goes out, her phone is set down and slowly our eyes start to drift closed and it starts… the whimpering from the dog that tells me she needs to go out AGAIN. (Mind you taking her out one last time for the night happens BEFORE the alarm system  is set ALWAYS takes place.) Now my wife and I have this conversation nightly (when she is home,) “Why is she doing that?” I don’t know, “maybe your not letting her find true north, you know there’s a study that says she needs to find true north before she can go…” “UH, what??” (AND she reads me this article AFTER I take the dog out again.) Hmm interesting…

Did dog go? yes of course she did, so all is good to go right…yeah…NO. Lights are out, house is once again locked up, and my head is on my pillow and eyes are closing….AAANNNDDDDDD I hear..yup you guessed it! The dog again… from my wife I hear, “didn’t she go?” yes she did she sniffed the ground found a spot and peed… “Well maybe she needs to poop,” Maybe,…. again the processes is followed…the dog goes out, walks around, sniffs the ground, the air, peers out into the darkness, sniffs some more… looks at me wags her tail, and begins to walk back to the house. Now what does that tell you? It tells me she is done, and wants to go in! YAY cuz I want to go to sleep.  I climb back into bed…boom whimpering.. UGH ARE YOU KIDDING ME? My wife says, ‘maybe she is hungry,’ no she has food, ‘thirsty?” no she has water, ‘ did she poop?” no she sniffed the air, the ground and stared off into space…” well she couldn’t find true north, I read the article to you…” yeah but it doesn’t have to take twenty minutes to find true north and you cant find it if you just zoning out into the darkness. “Well honey, just be patient…” hm, she wants to die. “I don’t think she wants to die,” Then she better do her business this time…”  OUT I go again with the ‘sweet adorable puppy dog’, yeah right. Fifteen minutes later, has she done anything NO, is she staring off into space? NO she is looking at me like I’ve lost my ever-lovin mind and is standing at the door ready to go in!! Once again the dog is inside, I’m making my way back to bed, and what do I hear, my sweet wife is sound asleep. The kittens are sleeping, the house is quiet, and I’m praying that I can finally sleep as well.

And I do, only for it all to start up again at 3 in the morning…followed by kitten who needs love because hey it’s been a long night and NO ONE has paid any attention to him.

Oh joy, I wonder how I can work this into a book…I’ll call it “THE AUTHORITY HAS LOST HYS MIND, AND KEEPS TAKING ME OUT FOR NO REASON PLEASE HELP.” Or maybe, ” RAMBLINGS FROM THE SLEEP DEPRIVED” 

“Sleep was a country for which he could not obtain a visa.”
Ann Patchett, Bel Canto

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